"The prose was pedantic,
cliched, and kitsch!
Terrible! Awful!
Tossed it in a ditch!"

Classic formalism meets modern themes in this collection of 160 mischievous sonnets. Every sonnet in this collection is structured in the oldest and stodgiest "Petrarchan" form, but each one tells a disarmingly dumb (yet emotionally devastating) tale of teen romance, time-machines, regret, doomsday devices, love, loss, longing, the horrors of war, murderous Santas, lonely sea captains, mortality, errant rocketships, existentialism, melancholy ghosts, dumb humor, monstrous tardigrades, devastating breakups, zombies, the lump in your throat as you watch the perfect opportunity to express your love pass by, and the eventual heat death of the universe.